Socialising when you have a Chronic Condition by Karen Pritchard

M aintaining friendships is such a rewarding experience, but living with a Chronic condition and pain can be very difficult.
Friendships play such an important part in people’s health and well-being. It can be very difficult to find opportunities to make friendships, so socialising and getting out and about is vital to our well-being.

It takes much confidence to find opportunities for friendship or social groups to join. We feel a need to play a part in society. It is so important to be given the same opportunities to make friends as everybody else.

Although it’s difficult to remain positive on bad days we must learn to turn to friends as a source of support. More often than not they can relate to our problems. At the other end of the spectrum – resolving conflict can seriously help our pain as the more we worry and stress, the more distressing pain is. Letting people know your limitations can also help as if you can’t do something, at least they understand the reasons. Most importantly be kind to ourselves and try to embrace the positives .....

Living with chronic pain can be tough both physically and emotionally. It is easy to skip activities like visits to the gym, swimming that uses up vital energy which we may need to store for other daily tasks. However, any exercise has many benefits and has been
shown to reduce pain perception, increase mobility, improve strength and balance and even reduce stress and tiredness.

For parents, it can be difficult to let your child out from your protective care and their safety bubble, but it is so important that they get out, make friends, and experience as much as they can. MD can sap your confidence - if you let it - and before you know it, you’re stuck at home. I’ve been there. Have a read of some of the things our readers of One Voice get up to - with a bit of planning, anything is possible. Don’t forget, you’re not alone - you’ve got the NMC community who will help and support you if there’s something you want to do but don’t know where to start.

A Centre user describes..... “My friends knew something wasn’t quite right but they didn’t dare ask me as they didn’t think I was ready to talk about it. When eventually I did tell them, I discovered they’d been really worried behind my back - because they care - no other reason. They didn’t leave   and run away like I thought they would - the opposite in fact.”

“I find by being out and about, people stare at me. That was my worry about being in a chair. But I soon realised it was rarely out of pity (which I assumed it would be) but out of ‘good on you getting out and about’ kind of inspiration. We are all unique and have many gifts and talents - sometimes we forget.”

Maintaining your Mental Well Being by Karen Pritchard

We all can suffer from the stresses and strains of life, for some of us this can become a huge challenge and quite often leads to changes in our mental health. 

I admittedly find it a struggle with my disability, and often find myself reflecting on the negatives in my life.  In the past, I have suffered debilitating depression. To this day I still take anti depressant's to help with my mood.  I'm not ashamed of this fact, I have a positive outlook to mental health and if you find something that works for you then that's a positive way forward. 

It is so important that you stop beating yourself up.  I'm kinder to myself these days. I praise myself for even having a bath/shower or completing a small task in the home.  I'm even considering a cleaner to give my house a spring clean from time to time.  I did feel a failure for thinking about this option, but again I have to think what is best for my family and I.  

I would often stay at home whilst my family went on trips or days out.  When my pain levels were bad I didn’t want to do anything but stay in bed.  This would spiral out of control, and I would often find myself sad and depressed at home alone living my life on social media!  

Things had to change so, I phoned my GP to see if I could up my pain medication. I also concluded that my pain would follow me around like a bad penny so why not try and get out and about to take my mind away from it.  Rather than it control me, I needed to control it. 

I decided I also needed to take up some hobbies to boost my self esteem and improve my mental well being. At the moment I'm enjoying card making and I donate them to the NMC to help raise funds.  It's a very rewarding thing to do – makes me feel like I'm trying. 
Learning something new, or taking up a new hobby, can also boost your confidence and occupies your mind in a positive and active way. If you want to try a new hobby, think about what you are good at, or things that you have always wanted to try. You can find information about volunteering organisations and local groups, clubs or classes at your local library, in local newspapers or magazines, or online. 

If you are facing a difficult time, talking about the way you feel with someone you know and trust can often helps. Your friends or family may be able to offer you practical help or advice and give you another perspective on what is causing your problems. Even if they can’t help, often just talking something through and knowing that there is someone to listen and understand you can make you feel much better. 
 
If you feel you cannot talk to anyone close, try and think about booking an appointment with your GP.  If you feel like just picking up the phone and talking with someone there are also organisations which can help too. 
 
These include:  
 
The Samaritans 116 123 
Mind 0300 123 3393